Named after you

At times I like
to sit in a world of my own
and observe
somehow selfishly,
hours go by
untouched.

I drive my mind crazy,
late at night reading
between the lines
of a careless note,
late at night waiting
for the inevitable
wrong answer.

At times I like
to get lost 
in illusions of closeness,
when everything outside
is unbearably cold.

And I wake up tired,
always on the verge 
of unfinished thoughts,
almost 
balancing the uncertainty
on the bridge of my nose. 

At times I like
to whisper out loud 
my thanks
for the light and the dark,
let the sound fade
as all the scars on my soul
named after you.